My desktop is infested with the infernal things ::P

Alas they are ALL way to awesome to delete

So without further delay… my desktop

Woot! ^^,

Blood Red Rose
Black Silk Wind
Rusty Sky
At fires brim

Angels Fall
For Heaven lies

Life goes once
Life goes tway
Life’s light falters
And fades away

The clouds do weep
The sky does cry

Deadly Wrath
And Seven Sins
Peaceful Pain
For Eternity does die

Again…

A thousand steps
One measly mile
A road sorely taken
A road poorly traveled

The tragedy of pain and hate
The unhappiness in ones own fate
The truth of life and all that matters
The death of Eternity and its godly matters

So Blood Red Rose
And Black silk wind
Under rusted sky…
At Hells fiery brim

Deadly Wrath
Hidden in the Seven Sins
The peaceful pain that death does give
For the depth of Eternity does die today

-Dan Roberts

Nimasar Dwin’elrvis (Deep Seeker Walk’s in the Leaves)

I am the night watcher
The day keeper
The cloud weaver

I am the dream taker
Shadow walker
Mountain shaker

Wraiths!
Fear me
For I know you

God keep me
For I am true

Wear the mask of goodness
And it becomes your face

Walk in the path of evil
And it becomes your place

Wraiths fear me
For I know you
I’ll find you where you tread

Fear me
For I know you
I’ve slept where you make
Your bed

Five months ago puts us into November, I suppose one could make an argument for December, but I’ll be starting in November nonetheless. Before I start in on Danny there are a few things you have to know about me. I am long winded; I love metaphors and in this case find myself largely incapable of explaining these events without them. If you cannot intuitively grasp this kind of incoherent babble, then find someone who can and stop wasting your time. That said I am a very perceptive person, and if you cannot understand it will not be for lack of knowledge or understanding on my part…merely coherency.

Before all this started Danny was the hardest person to read I have ever met. Even now it is only on rare (and very bad) days that I trust my readings of him completely. In other words, take everything I say with a very large grain of salt. Five months ago puts us right at the time that the business with Amanda Salmen came to its head. Danny had sent me a series of increasingly distressing emails1, which ended saying that I was too late. Upon my return from Vienna (both Amanda and I were in the school choir which went there) Danny was entirely devoid of emotion and in my (false) opinion irrevocably addicted to caffeine.

I then made the single greatest mistake of my life. I brought Amanda to his house in a lame attempt to undo the damage I felt I had caused. It worked. (imagine me laughing sarcastically) The two of them (again by my stupid error) made out in his room but it didn’t really wake Danny up. In fact it only served to throw him into the depression that has continued to this day. He played a game (which I deserved) and attempted to put closure on it once and for all. All he managed to do was put a huge dent in our friendship, and learn to hate himself even more.

Earlier he had had a violent argument with his grandparents. I knew the moment he walked in the school that something was up. Upon my inquiry he launched into a tirade about his grandparents and how unobservant they were. I believe his exact words were, “Sure I’m breaking up with her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still care about her. Somehow she (Gram) doesn’t see how hurt I am. I mean think about that! How insensitive is that? All I need is some time! I don’t need to hear about how awful Amanda is!” ect ect (a reminder again that my memory for specifics is weak at best)

Basically he was the same old Danny, and once I’d forgiven him I’d have put a stamp on it that said case closed if it wasn’t for a few things. The first was Christine Robinson, though that relationship never got past the talking stage, it to left its mark on Danny. He continued to drink a huge amount caffeine, and resurrected (I believe) the habit of going for late night walks. This habit has continued again to this day.

It was mere coincidence that he didn’t get the solace he was looking for in Christine. It seemed every time he got close to asking her out there was some emergency on her end and eventually her extraordinarily busy schedule precluded all attempts to start a relationship. It was in this period of time that things started happening again. First off Danny confided in me having violent fantasies, a concept with which I have some experience, and which through light on some very disturbing and incoherent signals I’d been getting.

It seemed to me now that the problem was defiantly of internal, rather than external cause. He came to school many times completely sick and depressed. He switched from energy drinks to Nyquil in an honest attempt to kill himself, but unwilling to either actually commit suicide, or to continue down any one path of physical destruction for very long. That was also when he found CC radio and applied to be a DJ. This became a source of happiness in his life, about the only one I must confess. Even at that it may have been more of an outlet for him than anything else, and he opened up more to complete strangers online then he did to anyone but myself; revealing himself through his songs and very thinly veiled comments.

Of course you know all this, so let’s just say that this state of outward steel, and inward melancholy and desperation, continued for a month or so. During this time I took great pains not to know much more then I picked up, though my natural curiosity made this impossible. Really I have no idea when it happened but no sooner had I decided to try and help him again when he snapped. Suddenly and for no apparent reason he was on air in a squeaky voice, pouring out his life secrets and talking very very fast.

He was suddenly taking all his drugs at once. His eye’s still had that steel, though it was less defined, more hazy now and less simply blocked. I considered that he might be faking again, but could not come up with a motive. At school he ranged from psychotic, to entirely despondent. He downed two bottles of energy drink and half a bottle of Nyquil at lunch, and could not keep his voice level for more than thirty seconds at a time. By the end of the day, for three days straight, he collapsed at his locker. I suggested, not for the first time but for the first time with real intent, that he see both a doctor and a psychologist.

This was three weeks from spring break. (My how time flies when you’re summarizing madly) It took me a week (God only knows why) to call his Grandparents with the suggestion that Danny see a Psychologist, and the number for the hospital department. By that time I was gone, first on a government funded trip to Ottawa, and then with my family for spring break. I never knew whether Danny went to his appointment, as he had brushed me off when I mentioned it to him, or even if said appointment had been booked.

It was with fear that I returned to school, not knowing what damage could have been done in my absence, but taking comfort in the fact that Danny was off to Vancouver for spring break and that it was unlikely he would be more stressed there. You can talk to Danny about the irony of that outlook. Despite obvious problems resulting from the trip I think Danny is doing better. He is no longer taking drugs of any kind, and I think he’s come to terms with the fact that he’s not going to off himself. He needs time to cool down before another bizarre occurrence hits, but that may be all he needs.  Basically we’ve come full circle and returned to the new normal. Danny is still depressed but I no longer fear for his life, or I suppose, his sanity.

Sincerely,
*name for you guys withheld*

ach flemin!

*Now sprelling error free*

I be a 17 year old of the single variety (despite a lot of trying not to be ::P)

um… yah there really isn’t much more to me… ::) (<– Ah mutant smiley!!!!)

I work at staples, and live in the horrible little town of Cranbrook B.C.

I like to build, destroy, reconstruct, break, hack, make secure, and experiment with computers. I am proud to be a windows 7 beta tester, and am planning to take both network and programming course at NAIT university.

I like to have crazy awesome shows during the day, and mellow humorous shows at night, during my night shows I sometimes will present serious thoughts to the audience of explain sections of my miserable life.

If your really lucky you’ll hear a rant (only happens when somethings really bugging me), and they get crazy awesome, I also am probably the fastest talking Dj on the CC, and every once and awhile will spiel of a ridiculous amount of shout outs in a short amount of time.

I’m only do wing it shows, no pre made playlists for me ::P, and as such have no scheduled slot ^^, do to this fact I have called myself Wingman Erwin a couple of times.

My biggest fan on the site is most definitely Boltnmolt (rock on dude!!!) and am the only radio Dj with a cult::)

You can find my blog (you’re here right now genius…) at the link you just read over, like duh……..
MY facebook is easy enough to find, just ask

I also have skype and can be added under the email address of explosin@gmail.com

Feel free to email with anything important or if your feeling like a three year old, you could always spam my inbox…
I like to play TSG, and the buggle games on the site ^^, and often join in with the Dj minions team (we lose when I do… wait what am I talkin’ about, I don’t admit to flaws…) and Mearowene causes us to lose the game a lot (hehehe ^^,)
As for music goes (obviously the least important thing I’m mention here me being a Dj and all) I like techno, rock, punk, metal, alternative music choices, the inspiring classic songs, and the witty and humorous rap/other songs

Bands that are on my “It” list right now are:

FallingUp, YellowCard, Finger 11, The offspring, and Basshunter <(^^,)>, not to mention the other 484 artist in my library.

And that be it, any questions can go to my inbox ::) (No!!! I’m not giving you the link for a third  fracken time…)

You can find the original non blog version of this post at the link you once again passed by you idiot…

so I haven’t blogged in awhile…  and even this is kinda just filler, awsome post coming soon though I think

*Insert wit here*

So recently I have hurt my leg, and been forced to walk with a kane. Couple this together with my new sense of higher dressing and the fact that in real life i’m a sarcastic prick, my friends have started to call me House, an amusing analogy. The funny thing is it’s not really an insult to me, and being called an arrogant resentfull genius is kinda charming. The irony of the situation is the kane I picked has an (unintentual) resemblance to House’s very own. Well all I need to do now is gain a narcotics addictions and I’ll be a happy happy arrogant prick named house ::), sadle ::( all I have is a caffiene and Nyquil addictions ::P  I also have to hope I don’t hurt any other body parts like arms, the other leg, or my eyes O.x —Now to take some pics of myself to post later, and learn some more tricks with the kane (so far all i can really do is twirl it fast for extend amounts of time…)

p.s. The kane is german so I’m spelling it with a k ::P (<— ah! mutant smiley)

So this pic comes from my good buddy Aggixx, who came up with this little multi Djing audio setup

Go Aggixx!

It’ creative work like this that inspires me to make more of my own inventive solutions!!! ^^

So I recently bought myself a new computer, which in itself is unbelievable (i7 bitches). Having grown tired of Xp and it’s limits when it comes to newer parts (DX 10 anyone?) but due to just plain annoyance don’t want have to deal with Vista with 7 just on the horizon. So I grabbed my beta copy of Windows7 (I had used this disk before to fix a very pretty girl’s laptop… a story in it’s own) and flew out to Vancouver. First off, let me state how awkward it is to step into a website in real life (I went to NCIX.com). So do to sales, I ended up with 6 GB of corsair ram for the new machine, and my copy of 7 just happens to be 32 bit… I installed it anyways, it is at this point that I realized holy shit Microsoft has done something right! First thing I noticed, DX10 support, no big deal, but considering I don’t have to use Vista to have it. Then I noticed something amazing, the 32 bit version although not capable of using all 6 GB of ram was detecting all six anyways, which is surprising cause you don’t see that kinda thing in Xp of Vista. Other features I’m loving are

1) Redesigned toolbar -picture pop up thingy is cool and really helpful

2) The support of tabbed browsing

3) The ability to uninstall Microsoft Internet Explorer which is a real surprise (apparently the final copies of 7 are going to ship with FireFox O.o, shocking news for those who have watched Microsoft)

4) Got rid of all the silly “WOW” features that Vista had

5) Device manager stuff is unbelievably intuitive, and helpful

6) They brought back disk drive support and then some!!! I still remember the days when I could burn a music CD using Xp, by just dragging stuff to the drive… sadly DVDs kinda killed this cause Xp had no clue what they were…. 7 does!!! and even more surprisingly it can even burn ISOs!!!!!

7) Much much much more… from a newly designed Windows media player, the new windows live (msn), the amazing new action center, the easier to use security (no more dimmed screen bullshit…) the shiny new mouse control options (pull a window to the top to maximize ^^) the great multi core support (its a big deal I have eight)

In summary when windows 7 comes out, just buy it, this one is a money grab (their STILL Microsoft) but this one is pretty, efficient, elegant, a powerhouse, and the BETA, the frickin BETA puts Xp (3 service packs and all) to bloody shame